So many apologies for being absent for so long….. I have no excuses apart from being distracted with every day life. So, sorry to any of you that are disappointed with my pathetic attempt to build a blogging path/career! However, you gotta keep trying.. so I am determined to change this situation and embrace this ‘blogging’ journey as intended from the beginning. I know, yawn.. yawn I have said that before, I know, but at least I am REAL I suppose…?? Life does just simply get in the way when you have three children, a husband and a cat, and your not a spring chicken anymore..
Anyway enough of that ‘get the violins out bo***xs’! Lets get chatting… I felt inspired to write about something that really affected me in a big way over the last couple of months, and why we should not presume that things will always fall into place.
I have always been one of those people that seemed to attract drama and negative shit in my life but have always found away of dealing with it. I was fortunate enough to be employed in various jobs throughout my twenties whist building my portfolio, to eventually work as a hair and make-up artist. Whatever came my way and however bad it got there always seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel. After relocating once again with my husbands job, I was determined that I was going to get back into teaching ‘hair and make-up’. Over the years I had been lucky enough to teach in several different colleges across the country, but had never gained any formal teaching qualifications. So crossing off one of my new years resolutions, I decided to enrole at Gloucester College in Cheltenham. I completed a 12 week course in teaching and loved every minute of it. My ‘older’ brain was certainly put to the test after being absent from studying for a good 20 years.. and although at times I felt anxious and full of self doubt, I pushed through and completed it.
So this is the bit that threw me… Okay, as mentioned before I am no spring chicken, in all honesty, I am heading the other side of 40. I needed to find a job.. How hard could this be? Confident with my new qualification and slightly smug at doing better than I thought I would on the course, I braved this new world of ’employment’ and started job hunting.
After 14 years of being a ‘stay at home mum’ and working freelance part-time, I felt safe and secure in my day to day life. Becoming a Mum was one of the best things that had ever happened to me and gave me the deepest sense of achievement which I desperately craved. However, once the children were less needy of me I knew it was time to get some of my own identity back and to think about work. It was strange as part of me liked the idea of ‘pinteresting’ work outfits, and visualising my own office with structure and routine., but part of me felt an overwhelming guilt towards the children. I felt like I was being disloyal to them and would often ‘fret’ about the prospect of leaving them to go out to work. (I have always felt hugely grateful to my husband for working really hard to allow me to have the luxury of being able to stay at home).
Anyway getting back to the job hunting, within weeks of leaving the college armed with my new qualification I found a job! Yay! (Not so yay actually!) It was exactly up my street teaching media make-up and hair. Without going into too many details about the interview, the long and short of it was that I didn’t bloody get it!! WTF! Bruised ego, I dusted myself off and went for another two interviews in different things. Guess what I didn’t get those either… My confidence was rock bottom.. and so was my bank account..The one thing I very quickly realised was how fierce the competition had become once you got older. There are also many things to consider now when attending an interview. I had been out of the game for along time.. I just wasn’t prepared….
So after some real deep thinking and self analysing, I decided to go back to what I know best -Freelance Hair and Make-up… With the right advertising and marketing I am now firmly back on that horse and loving every minute of it… I don’t feel that I have failed in trying something new but that I have now regained a new love for what I am already good at. Sometimes it just takes a bit of reevaluating yourself and where you need to be..
Do any of you feel that sometimes you are just stuck in a rut and need a change?
Please feel free to drop me a line. I would love to read your comments..